SLIGHTLY ODWAY...

written yesterday:

i have decided - i think i want to be an accountant...

Today i have learnt that "when we [as christians] give God enjoyment [meaning praise, etc], our own hearts will be filled with joy." yet i'm not sure if this is entirely true. like matt, i'm a bit doubtful of the authenticity of "A Purpose Driven Life". sure, most of the time when i'm worshipping and praising Jesus i certainly feel jolly, but i don't always find that all my issues go away. Like Riley was saying, when he's telling his non-christian friends about God he feels great and proud, but then he gets shut down which gives him a stab of devastation. so yes, sure, bringing glory to God is amazing, and i'm so thankful that He allows us to, but i just found that this statement was not so fitting.
also another thing that didn't sit right for me tonight was the whole noah's ark thingy. my question is 'how did the sea creatures survive the flood?' first things first: how could they get the sea creatures onto the boat, due to the fact that noah's dinghy was in the middle of this land mass and there were no means of transporting these animals or the boat across this dry land? and how could they accommodate these sea animals once they actually got them aboard the ark? did they have a built-in aquarium so that the sea creatures did not dry out? yes, the ark was massive and i realise that the animals taken on board were probably juveniles, but could they really fit in 2 blue whales, 2 humpbacks, 2 whalesharks, 2 spotted pink elephant fish (yes i did make that one up), and the kitchen sink as well? Genesis 7:23 says "Every living thing on the face of the earth was wiped out... Only Noah was left, and those with him in the ark" so obviously the sea creatures did have to join in on the action, but how did Noah manage to get 'em on board? That's yet another thing i'm gonna be asking God about when i meet Him.
but there's another thing - is it right to question God about such things? in our bible study group tonight, i really got a feeling that ppl would be rejected (sounds harsh but true) from the group>church>faith if they question our beliefs. yeh i know that we shouldnt challenge God's authority or whatever, but man sometimes it's as if we're jo ho's or something - question the faith and you'll be kicked out!

well enough for tonight - school starts again tomorrow! shall be interesting...
ps. another thing i learnt today - chris won cheeseburger challenge on 7burgers and 1 bite, matt was runner-up on 7, and jamie died on 5 (he also cheated by getting jeremy to eat another 1 and said it was him... tut tut)....

ahh don't we just love cheeseburger challenges - esp when it aint ourselves involved in over-indulging our tastebuds with greasy maccas food. i think matt won on 7 right? with chris close behind with 6.5 and jamie on 6 (or was it 5?). ah well, the simple pleasures in life...
on the way home my car fell apart! :( a sheet of metal under the car had come loose and was draggin on the road, making a lovely racket. had to call daddy. but now it's fixed so yay :) i think the best, most satisfying part was the fact that it wasn't me driving - all blame nic! haraah!
yesterday i had fun getting in touch with my inner child (shock horror ppl, my usual immaturity can become even more immature - if that makes sense). my lil cousin and my other cousin's kid came over and we had fun playing with those pipe-cleaner thingys and watching "the most silly songs of all time" (wotever it's called). that's right, we even managed to get some evangelism in there - haraah for vegetales, those guys are geniouses (or would the plural actually be genii?). teach 'em young - good stuff.
well i dont think i really stuck to the 'telling what i learnt today' challenge, but on saturday i learnt that it is posible to model meiosis using playing cards, and yesterday i learnt how to shuffle those playing cards. i know, i'm a hopeless case. today is not over yet, so there is still time for me to learn something. in other words, i aint done anything today that i have learnt something from, except that i hav a leaders meeting on tuesday night. well i'm going to go find something to learn, and shall report back tomorrow perhaps. oh i have a german song to learn by tomorrow - excellent, i shall be learning german tonight ppl...

it turns out that the sweaty guy cutting my beautiful trees is a bit of a cutie. his name's luke and he lives just down the road...
it may sound like i'm desparate or something, but really i didn't do anything today except watch this guy massacre my trees and go beaching with karen, so it's more a boredom thing.
i think the motivation to get off my butt has worn off....

ah yes another beautiful day - sun shining, water shimmering, birds twittering, chainsaws roaring! yes once again woken up by the dreaded chainsaw. there's a guy in the tree outside my window and he's pretty much level with me (my house is practically 3 stories coz we live on a slopey sorta area - my room is on top level) so it's kinda amusing watching his facial expressions while he mutilates my beautiful trees. renovations were gonna be starting on this coming tuesday, but no, delays are inevitable. was spose to all start early last year, but of course pittwater bloody council took their sweet time (don't wanna go into detail right now, coz it's too infuriating and i dont wanna wreck my day).
anyway tom was sayin somethin bout rach gettin her fingers slammed in a car door. you ok rach? wot did your mum say? and i dunno about girls having a stronger pain threshold tom, and anyway how would you compare thresholds of each gender? everyone has completely different pain barriers...
visiting the 'george' site, not too impressed... for all the amazing stuff they do musically and visually on their albums, i'm a bit disappointed by their site. and they had no up-coming concerts/performances, which seems weird coz they just released their new album 'unity'. but man i love katie noonan...
oh and yesterday's learning experience was found when pulling my computer mouse apart. i don't really know what i learnt, i guess just how to put it back together again. but i did watch 'the mummy' last night, where i learnt that brendan fraser is a really pathetic actor...

wow so proud of myself - actually stopped procrastinating and did some work and ended up finishing my maths assignment for the hols. i still got plenty of stuff to do, but at least that's a start. THANKYOU MATT FOR YOUR WONDERFUL INSPIRATIONAL DISCUSSION!
um in tuesday's manly daily there was an article about there being some kind of chick's surf social event at long reef beach on saturday at 9am - 1pm. there's gonna be pro surfers teachin chicks how to surf and it costs $10 with all equipment supplied. sounds fun - rach you wanna go? tanya? anyone i dont mind - i wanna learn properly...
Tom has sent me on a challenge – to blog all the new things I learn each day. Today I learnt about a lapel – a lapel is a fold in a jacket, not a microphone, although a lapel microphone clips onto your lapel, which is a fold in your jacket, not a microphone.

hey someone smart with authority... i hav a question - can i become a member of the blog water hole?
also, why dont you call this water hole a bog, then it would be quite amusing...
(for those who don't get it, the name would become "blog bog", which would be a much trendier name, although you could not say it is "posh")
which brings me to another question - why does tom and howie (and anyone else who says it) say "posh"? are you trying to be more "posh" so you say "posh" to sound "posh", or are you plotting world domination of the "posh" cult where all are forced to say the "posh" moto and carry "posh" banners???

just talkin to 3 ppl on msn and they all just said "lol" after i wrote somethin... wow i must be funny...

so mike foxall asked me the question:
"You're stuck on an island, what three personal things would you bring with you and why?"
what would i say??? it's a toughy... i'd like to say somethin impressive like 'my bible' or 'my best friend', but all that really comes to mind would be
1. 'a hammock, with built-in blanket' (i know im kinda cheating coz it's 2 things in 1) because i'd wanna keep the creepy crawlies away, although they might come in handy when i experiement with different foods as i enjoy tryin new and especially strange things.
2. 'my guitar' coz this comment makes me sound cool and coz i get bored very easily, and also coz on an island i would actually hav some Lauren time and just be able to relax and hav a tinker on my baby.
3. 'a never-ending packet of tim-tams' coz i'll get hungry. but then again, tim-tams would get boring and i'd end up being the world's biggest zit-head, so maybe i should just go for 'a boat' so i can row myself away from boredom and lonesomeness (seems like a good-ish answer - not too blonde, although it aint really a personal item).
wot bout everyone else? (someone give comments please. as rachel would say, 'im procrastinating')...

oh, i mustn't be that funny, coz 2 msn ppl just signed off in the middle of a convo without any warning. ouch i hit the ground with a thud...

why is the beach full of nudes and white hat ppl? went to palmy with rach today (yay rach!) and we were innocently walking to the dunes wen we realised there were all these older (note the 'er') men randomly sittin in the grassy areas, then we noticed that they were all wearing these white grandpa bucket hats... what's with that? and when we got up closer to the cliffs rach pointed out that there was a nude guy walkin around (who we shall call nude guy 1). shortly after our startle and quick diversion onto the higher ground away from nude guy 1, we came across nude guy 2. luckily we had prepared for the worst and power walked past with heads down (well my head was, not sure bout rach though hehe). after passin nude guy 2, we noticed nude guy 1 watching us (dont think we were perving on him coz he was a long way off [40m or so] and he was layin on his belly), anyway so nude guy 1 freaked us out and we run up onto the dunes. upon reachin the dunes we found rach's little hide out thingy and some cardboard, which we used to unsuccessfully slide down the dunes. after realising we were sweating like pigs, scrambling back down the dunes and throwing our thongs into the bush (well really it was just me throwing my thongs into the bush) and stepping on sharp objects, we concluded that desert life would be too tough for us and pondered how some guy had been able to survive for a month in the desert without water or food by drinkin his own urine. sorry, i think this post is turning a bit too seedy - nude men and drinkin bodily fluids - not very civilised...
anyway so after rachel and i had formed a new cult, i came home and am now bloggin to keep up appearances so that tom and helen might possibly add me to their blog list. (",) is there some way i can influence this? i'll try:

COME ONE, COME ALL. VISIT TOM AND HELEN'S BLOGS COZ THEY ARE POSH...

wotta you think guys? good enough? now can i be in the blog crew? can i join your cult, coz you joined mine and rach's cult? please???
durin easter i ate 2 small chocolate eggs and a chocolate hot cross bun (man it was good - yay to bakers delight) and i am so proud. to celebrate my resistance against the temptation of chocolate, i have just found myself devouring the ears of the bunny that my nan gave me. how ironic, but it's quite sad really...
i just noticed that i hav a small colony of baby spiders on my window. how sweet. where's the baygon? just kidding... or am i?...

If I were Santa, I would stop the frenetic madness of delivering millions of presents in one night and just divvy up my naughty/nice list, enlisting the help of the kids' parents to go out and buy the gifts.

It's always sad when you have to disillusion a child by telling him there is no Santa Claus. I prefer to maintain his innocence by just telling him that Santa can't come anymore because he contracted severe gonorrhoea and died.

With the popularity of biblical names these days, I'm kind of surprised at the reaction we get when people meet our little baby, Satan.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Frame a man for murder and the state will feed him every day for 25-to-life.

The next time you curse the fact that it's Monday, just think of it as proof that you made it through another weekend without killing yourself by doing something stupid.

I think a really cool thing for blind people would be talking warning signs. The drawback would be the resulting explosion of the blind population due to a lack of natural predators.

I can't help but think that the stronger sex is really the weaker sex because of the weakness of the stronger sex for the weaker sex.

I call my retriever puppy "Skipper" because he bounces two or three times every time I throw him out of the boat. He seems to like it though, unlike his predecessor, Mr. Drowny.

If you ever see a sign that says "Yard Sale" just keep on driving. They usually only have one yard for sale, and even then, it's always covered with a bunch of junk.

I have an idea for a new reality television show called Cannibal Island. Each week, one player will be eaten by the others until only one is left. The real beauty of this idea is that the cast won't be around to do an annoying reunion show.

I actually walked out of a bad movie the other night. But because I had rented it, that meant a night of sitting out in the front yard humming show tunes.

I bet the guy who first said, "Two heads are better than one" never worked as a fetal ultrasound technician.

The judge said he was afraid that my frequent thefts of Viagra have made me a hardened criminal.

Saying something over and over again doesn't make it true — unless, of course, you're saying, "I'm obnoxious and repetitive."

I told the cops I wasn't afraid of them because, just like the octopus, I could create a dark cloud for camouflage and escape. They laughed, but the joke's on them: They're never going to get that stain and smell out of their squad car.

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I believe in love at first sight. I even have a special word for it: "lust." (Wiley)
This one just happened to be something I’ve been pondering recently, but I wasn’t smart enough to make it into a joke like this guy. Maybe all my ponderings could make good ruminations…

yes tom, i love this site! how ponderous it is...
Nobody plans to fail, they just fail
to plan. Therefore, it's probably best
to always plan to fail to fail to plan.
(The Covert Comic)
hey hey, screw the hsc then, im goin to the beach...

wots wrong with me - i'm malting (however you spell) and im covered in ticks!! Ahhhh!
but i did get sent a funny story:
A LETTER TO A MOTHER
A mother enters her daughter's bedroom and sees a letter over the bed. With the worst premonition, she reads it, with trembling hands:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I eloped with my new boyfriend. I found real passion and he is so nice, with all his piercing and tattoos and his big motorcycle. But is not only that mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many more children with me and that's one of my dreams. I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and his friends,who are providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we may want. In the meantime, we'll pray for the science to find the AIDS cure, for Ahmed to get better, he deserves it. Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Some day I'll visit for you to know your grandchildren. Your daughter, Judith
PS: Mom, it's not true. I'm at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life than the school's report card that's in my desk drawer...I love you!
well wasn't that nice...
yet i had to look up dictionary again, so anyone else who was wondering - eloped means ran away with.....

2 things:
* i think i've referred to my dictionary more now than ever b4. ppl you gotta stop using such intelligent words in your blogs coz simpletons like me struggle to understand.
* i'm itchy.
that's all.

make that 8.5 ticks......and still more coming.....

by the way i hav now got 7.5 ticks off me today and i hav 1/2 a tick still in the back of my neck but it's all bleeding now coz noone was home to help me get it out so i had to mangle my skin to reach it and it didnt work so i gave up...... but it's still itchy.... just thought you should know....

guys are very interesting, just have to say that. i never ever knew that guys were on an "eternal quest to try to understand the language of women"... i didnt realise that there was such a serious communication problem between male and females. ywh well i guess that there were tons of things that i really did want to say in some of our relationship discussions at soul (and maccas afterwards), but i decided not to say and therefore held back. why? why cant we be totally honest? is it the fear of rejection and being heckled for it? why did God place brick walls between genders? what's the reason? can't wait to ask Him... is anyone else with me on this?
and you know what guys, girls are just the same - we have freaky stuff goin on in our heads too, so dont fret about us thinkin you guys hav creepy stuff wizzin round up there, coz we're scared to let you know what goes on with us. we struggle just as much with temptations and hormones as you guys, but we have a much more surfaced self-awareness and try to veil that alot more then you guys seem to. of course we go around checkin out guys, but that's pretty much as far as it goes. maybe coz you are more gutzy you go the extra step and whistle/hoot/wotever and maybe even venture over and start a convo. but i dunno, surely [christian] guys aren't just lookin for a surface relationship, coz [christain] girls are generally searching for a deeper, closer relationship that's intimate in the sense that they could share their deepest darkest with their boy. that kind of union, if you get me.
and girls do fantasize about guys, it's true girls, we do. God made us like that, we can't help it. it's just the way that that fantasy effects the way you behave because of it - that is the real test. im talkin bout things like pin-ups and porn and the kind of junk we watch on tv. and girls do hav dreams about guys too (well i do), but guys hav a bit of a different reaction to them and may encounter the good old wet dreams. i think the main issue is 'what are we are fuelling our desires with', rather then 'what our desires are'. nah, im a bit confused now and i cant get out what im trying to say. it's a bit jumbled in my head now. but i don't think that lust is a good thing to keep feeding with un-Godly junk. it can just get heaps dangerous and unhealthy, and distracts us from God.
i found a funny quote in a discussion page in my bible (ah yes, the good old teen bibles that try to make things easier to understand and end up sounding like rubbish): Physical hunger can easily be satisfied by eating some food. However, the sex drive isn't like hunger, and intercourse isn't a ham sandwich. sex isn't just a physical thing - it's spiritual too. well that's the 1st time i've ever heard anyone compared sex to a ham sandwich. how deep and insightful...
but girls struggle too you know - media just completely covers the whole issue of desiring guys and the necessity of having a boyfriend. all the girls mags now have pages of articles on the 'best sex positions' and 'how to get that guy' and 'top 10 sexiest hunks of all time' etc etc etc etc. it doesnt stop... go into the cosmopolitan website and you'll see down the side there is a "sex stuff" and a "man manual" section - why can't we see the kind of junk we take on board. all these articles just build and build on un-Godly desires. it's seriously so hard for a young teenage christian girl to not be influenced by the media and society's 'regulations' (well really they are). if your not in with what's "hip", your a nobody. do guys get that too? if you dont hav the latest playboy mag, are you critised?
i dunno, it's all too much i think... but we know that God calls us to be different from non-christians. what was that verse from 'hands and trains' - somethin like "do not conform to the patterns of this world". i know sometimes it's easier said than done and i fall into the trap too. But God also says that we can try to fit in so that people may accept the gospel that we bring. see 1 corinthians 9:19-23.
my head is gettin tired now and i should really get back to work so yeh...
oh and im really sorry if any of my sisters out there are offended by this discussion - it's not that im trying to diss us or expose our deepest darkest, im just tryin to encourage both brothers and sisters alike to express our true feelings and venture forth from our comfort zone...

hello yes well no.... i dont know
lookin at other ppls blogs - some ppl are way too smart. i dont get half the stuff some ppl talk about. way over my head. but thats ok coz God gives us enough knowledge for what he has designed us to do. like what the heck did matt stanton mean when he said "When I throw the baby out with bathwater, Helen tries to clean up the bath for the sake of the baby"??? what zee? does anyone else get it...
oh i have another question - why did suddenly change to an english accent throughout the whole soul conference? i noticed becky doin it to last night when we were sharin our experiences of God that we encountered during soul. what does it mean? is it just coz we like that accent, or do we long to be different from what we really are? or is it an attention seaching thing? why why why? but it's weird coz wen you get back to 'reality' (home), no accent...
i just realised it's the afternoon and i had promised myself that i would 'study' and i've sat on my butt all day and done jack crap... dam
and it's goin dark so i'll get the washing off the line and do the washing up so that mum wont be angry when she gets home soon. ok yeh.....

howdy y'all
lauren's back in business so WATCH OUT! nah not really... like yes, i am gonna give this bloggin thing another go, but no, you dont hav to worry coz if you find me too lame then just don't read me. therefore, if you get bored, you can't blame me coz it's your own fault for reading this.
but hey, now that that's over and done with, welcome to my site, and thankyou for welcoming my site onto your screen. i'll try harder this time to keep bloggin and also to remember my password and stuff.
but man, have to say, soul survivor was great!!! caught up a lil bit on sleep now, so i can actually think almost straight. i did have fun - for a while there i was thinkin "man i didnt get to do anythin that i had wanted to do", but God really taught me so many lessons. The main thing that i was really challenged by (what i really mean is i can't remember the others) was the fact that, no matter what, God will provide. He calls us not to stress out or think too much of the future. He asks us to be generous and sharing (yes i do mean with money, but i'm more talkin about time) and he will never let us down. if we sacrifice/give up anything for our Father, He'll use that for somethin more that you would hav imagined, but then He'll make sure that you wont be in need for that thing. He'll look after you. it's not a do this, and you get this. it's a do what is hard, you'll be fine. Share what is "your's" for the benefit of God's Kingdom. yet when we are sharing what we think is "ours", it's not actually "ours", it's "God's". When we gave ourselves to Jesus, it also meant we were giving Him all our possessions - everything we own, we give to Him. therefore, as Mike Pilivachi said, it's great coz we are actually giving away someone else's money (or wotever context you want to apply this to).
also another thing that i'm struggling with at the mo is THE FAMILY ISSUE. you know what i mean right? im pretty selfish when it comes to home stuff. the whole house work thing (i think other people would generally call these things chores) is not a favourite way to spend my time (yes the time factor again) and i also don't have the same priorities as my mum (eg. i don't cook coz my mum usually takes over if i try, therefore i dont try anymore, thus i dont cook). and there are so many contradictions and stuff about what my parents expect - i dont know, its hard to explain. but God's really been saying to me to just try, with a fresh approach and aspect, just to give family life another go. so that's exciting and encouraging. Yay for God. he's doin somethin.
well im hungry so i'll come back again later and see if i can write more.
addios for the moment...